This is the Unofficial 250 Question Purdue University Nerdity Examination. Equipment needed is this test, several pencils, some sheets of paper and a group of friends. Calculators are allowed but not required. The exam is divided into five parts of 50 questions each. Scoring is by the number of questions answered "yes." Scores of over 50% qualify you as a nerd. Scores of over 50% yes answers on both this and any purity test qualify you as a freak. Scores of less than 20% on a purity test and over 50% on a nerdity test qualify you as a geek. This test does not imply that Purdue University or any department thereof necessarily endorses, condones or condemns any of the actions listed here. The author of this exam does not mean to endorse, condone or condemn any of the actions listed herein. This test is for entertainment purposes only. Shoot people only at your own risk.
PART ONE: COMPUTER EXPERIENCE 1) Have you ever used a computer? 2) Have you ever used a computer that did not have Windows 3.0 or was not a Macintosh? 3) Have you ever programmed a computer in BASIC? 4) Have you ever written a structured program in BASIC? 5) Have you ever written a BASIC program that used pointers? 6) Have you ever programmed a computer in Pascal? 7) in Fortran 77? 8) in Fortran 66? 9) in C or C++? 10) in Lisp? 11) in Modula 2? 12) in MathCAD, Mathematica or Smalltalk? 13) in Ada? 14) in PostScript? 15) in Assembler? 16) Have you ever used Make? 17) Have you ever written a program more than 1000 lines long? 18) Have you ever written a compiler THAT WORKED? 19) Have you ever written a computer game (including video games)? 20) Have you ever used a MUDD, MUCC or MUSE? 21) Have you ever become a God on a MUDD, MUCC or MUSE? 22) Have you ever managed or created a MUDD, MUCC or MUSE? 23) Have you ever encountered a computer virus? 24) Have you ever defeated a computer virus (cleaned out your system with no data loss and little loss of time)? 25) Do you collect viruses? 26) Have you ever infected another computer with a virus intentionally? 27) Have you ever written a computer virus? 28) Was it for profit? 29) Have you ever been AT A LOSS for storage space on your hard drive? 30) Have you ever used UNIX? 31) Have you ever written a UNIX shell script? 32) Have you ever crashed a UNIX system? 33) Was it intentionally? 34) Have you ever installed an operating system on a computer, including your own? 35) Have you read email in the last week? 36) in the last 24 hours? 37) Have you read news from the computer networks in the last week? 38) in the last 24 hours? 39) Have you ever installed new hardware on your computer? 40) Have you ever built or repaired your own computer? 41) Have you ever done #39 or #40 for someone else? 42) Have you ever set up a BBS for *other than* profit? (NB: profit-takers should be shot at this point, once in the brain. Author) 43) Have you ever thrown out an algorithm because it took more time than another algorithm? 44) Have you ever thrown out an algorithm because it used more memory than another algorithm? 45) Have you ever worried about dirty electricity (yes this is a legitimate question; we have this problem in Chicago.) 46) Have you ever written an Artificial Intelligence program or algorithm? 47) Have you ever taught another person a computer language? 48) Have you ever spent more than 8 hours programming a computer? 49) Have you ever spent consecutive Thursday, Friday and Saturday evenings programming a computer? 50) Have you ever left a really cool party because you wanted to be on the computer for any reason? PART TWO: MATHEMATICAL EXPERIENCE GLOSSARY: ODE = Ordinary Differential Equation (or just plain Differential Equation) PDE = Partial Differential Equation 51) Do you know Trigonometry? 52) Have you ever taken a derivative? 53) Have you ever taken a partial derivative? 54) Have you ever solved a triple integral? 55) Have you ever solved a first order ODE? 56) Have you ever solved a second order ODE? 57) Have you ever found an Eigenvalue? 58) Have you ever solved a Determinant Matrix? 59) Have you ever used Gauss's Theorem? 60) Green's Theorem? 61) Stokes's Theorem? 62) Have you ever found the Kernel of a Vector Space? 63) Have you ever used a Laplace Transform? 64) Have you ever found a Fourier Series? 65) Have you ever solved a PDE? 66) Are you now or were you ever a Math major or Statistics major? 67) Do you know what a homomorphism is? 68) Do you know what ring theory is? 69) Do you know what a Prime Number is? 70) Do you know what a Smith Number is? 71) Have you ever taken a Riemann Integral? 72) Can you count to more than 1000 on two hands? 73) Can you use a calculator? 74) Can you use a graphing calculator? 75) Can you calculate a waiter's tip in your head? 76) Can you calculate sales tax in your head? 77) Do you know how to add the numbers 1, 2, 3, ... 100 in less than one minute using just a paper and pencil? 78) Have you ever taken a limit? 79) Have you heard of Lorenz's Equations? 80) Have you ever seen a fractal? 81) Have you ever solved an equation using the square root of negative one? 82) Is 666 a Smith Number? (say no if you don't know) 83) Do you have Pi memorized to more than 5 digits? 84) Do you have e memorized to more than 5 digits? 85) Have you ever integrated a function that was discontinuous at one point? 86) Do you know the first seven Prime Numbers? 87) Can you find the area of a circle of radius r? 88) a sphere of radius r? 89) from x=0 to x=1 for y=x^2? 90) Have you ever taken an improper integral? 91) Have you ever found the critical points of a predator-prey system? 92) Have you ever found the critical points of a chaotic system? 93) Have you ever entered a math competition (math team, American Invitational Math Exam, and so on?) 94) Have you ever won something in a math competition? 95) Is your Math SAT score above 600? 96) above 700? 97) Do you know the Quadratic Formula by heart? 98) Do you know the polynomial formulae for sin(x) and cos(x) by heart? 99) Have you ever calculated the odds of getting a hand in a card game? 100) Can you find the odds of getting a certain dice roll in your head? (NB- more on this in Nerd Culture) PART THREE- SCIENCE EXPERIENCE 101) Have you ever taken a calculus-based science course? 102) Have you ever taken a laboratory course for science or engeneering? 103) Are you now or were you ever a hard science major (physics, chemistry, biology, geology, meteorology, &c) or a real engeneering major? Please note: food science does not count, nor does psychology. Anyone who argues as such should be shot, once in the brain. It's for their own good. Furthermore, technology majors don't count (Electrical Engineering Technology is not the same as Electrical Engineering, no matter what anyone says.) Math and Computer Science don't count either, unless you are double majoring... i.e., physics and math would count for this question and #66 104) Did you ever own a chemistry set? 105) Did you ever make illegal substances (explosives, drugs, etc.) with a chemistry set? 106) Do you have your own scientific instruments, other than in a chemistry set (i.e.- you buy your own individual Erlenmeyer Flasks, test tubes, oscilloscopes, voltmeters, and so on. Lab coats don't count- see #122) 107) Did you ever enter a science fair? 108) Did you ever win anything in a science fair? 109) Have you ever thought up an original science experiment? 110) Were you able to perform this experiment? 111) Were the results conclusive? 112) Do you read Scientific American? 113) Science News or Science? 114) Any professional scientific journal (like Physics Quarterly?) 115) Do you know what a kilogram is? 116) Do you know what a TeV is? 117) Do you know how many kilograms there are in a terragram? 118) Do you know how many picometers there are in a centimeter? 119) Do you know what a Watt is? 120) what a Joule is? 121) Do you know Avogadro's Number? 122) Do you own your own lab coat? 123) Do you have stains on clothing from chemistry experiments? 124) Have you ever extrapolated? 125) Have you ever done a least squares fit? 126) Have you ever estimated error using a least squares fit? 127) Have you ever titrated something? 128) Have you ever done a spectral analysis on something? 129) Have you ever distilled something? 130) Have you ever used a voltmeter? 131) a galvinometer? 132) an oscilloscope? 133) a Hall Probe? 134) Have you ever dissected an animal? 135) Have you ever dissected a human being? 136) Have you ever solved an equation for oxidation-reduction reaction? 137) Do you know what Parabolic Motion is? 138) Do you know Maxwell's Equations? 139) Do you understand Einstein's Theory of General Relativity? 140) Special Relativity? 141) Have you ever solved a Schrodinger Wave Equation? 142) Have you ever had an experiment get you sick? 143) Have you ever had an experiment catch fire or explode on you? 144) Have you ever extracted DNA from something in a laboratory in order to perform an experiment on it? 145) Have you ever altered DNA in a laboratory? 146) Have you ever maintained a bacteria colony under laboratory conditions (sorry, your bedroom does not count) 147) Have you ever done any laboratory work involving viruses? 148) Have you ever maintained a colony of living animals under laboratory conditions (i.e.- fruit flies). 149) Have you ever been the target of a political group because of your experiments (i.e.- Operation Rescue, Animal Liberation Front, Mad Mothers Against Socially Unacceptable Physicists, etc.) 150) Have you ever done an experiment that required more than one month to perform? PART FOUR: NERD CULTURE 151) Have you ever felt left out at a party? 152) Have you ever been told to leave a party for reasons other than obnoxious behavior? 153) Have you ever left a party because you felt more comfortable in front of a computer or performing an experiment (including classwork)? 154) Have you ever been called a nerd, geek, loser, wimp or other similarly derogatory comment? 155) Have you ever seen "Revenge Of The Nerds" and identified with the main characters? 156) Have you ever read "The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy"? 157) Have you read the entire trilogy (all five books)? 158) Have you ever seen an episode of Star Trek? 159) Dr. Who? 160) Star Trek: The Next Generation? 161) Blake's Seven? 162) Deep Space Nine? 163) Kung Fu: The Legend Continues? 164) Have you ever attended a convention for any of the shows listed in questions 158-163? 165) Have you ever played a role playing game? 166) Have you ever participated in a role playing game campaign? 167) Have you ever run a role playing game adventure? 168) Have you ever run a role playing game campaign? 169) Have you ever made your own role playing game? 170) Did you sell, publish or otherwise distribute this game? 171) Have you ever attended a role playing game convention? 172) Are you a regular at role playing game conventions? 173) Have you ever published a science fiction story? 174) a mathematical article? 175) a scientific article? (PhD's included for questions 174-5) 176) Have you ever read a science fiction/fantasy novel other than Hitchhiker's? 177) Have you ever read an entire series of non Hitchhiker's SciFi/fantasy? 178) Have you ever corrected a role playing game, TV show, or novel for scientific accuracy? 179) Have you ever asked a question in a class? 180) Have you ever corrected a professor in class? 181) Do you usually sit in the front of the class? 182) Are you a member of a career organization (like Society of Physics Students or Society of Women Engeneers)? 183) Are you a regular in this career organization? 184) Have you ever taken an independent study class? 185) Do you plan to / did you earn two degrees or more as an undergraduate? 186) Are you going / Did you go to Graduate School? 187) Have you ever gotten straight A's in a semester/term/quarter? 188) Have you ever gotten BETTER THAN straight A's in a semester/term/quarter? 189) Were your SAT's >= 1200 combined? 190) >= 1400 combined? 191) Have you ever made a technical joke? 192) Did nobody get it? 193) Have you ever asked a professor a question related to his/her field that s/he could not come up with a good answer for (i.e.- s/he says "let me think about it and I'll get back to you." Explaining that that's a great paradox of science etc. does not count.) 194) Have you ever bored someone with too much information (Profs and TA's don't count for boring their classes. That is expected.) 195) Have people ever joked about you as being a scientist, mathematician or computer scientist? 196) Are you better known by your computer name (login) than your real name? 197) Have you ever taken a graduate class that you did not need to? 198) as an undergraduate? 199) Have people ever winced when they heard your major, field of study or occupation? 200) Have you ever taken a nerdity test? PART FIVE- NERD SEX For the following questions, a nerd counts as someone who would be likely to score high on a nerdity test. Examples: Computer Electrical Engeneers, Physics Profs, &c. Nerdity has nothing to do with purity. Gender does not matter for these questions. People with high purity scores (younger or more sensitive readers) should beware. 201) Have you ever flirted with a nerd? 202) Have you ever kissed a nerd? 203) Have you ever made out with a nerd? 204) Have you ever had sex with a nerd? 205) Have you ever had sex with two or more nerds in a 24 hour period? 206) Have you ever had sex with a nerd to the point of orgasm? 207) Have you ever had sex with a nerd to the point of mutual orgasm? 208) Have you ever had sex with the same nerd more than once in a 24 hour period or had one session of sex which lasted for three hours or three orgasms, whichever came first? 209) Have you ever had a steady relationship with a nerd? 210) Have you ever had a steady relationship with more than one nerd at a time, such that neither knew (or so you believed)? 211) Do you wear glasses? 212) Do your glasses have tape on them? 213) Do you wear dress slacks more than once a week? 214) Do you own a shirt with equations, a picture of a scientist, mathematician or computer scientist, or a corporate logo on the front? (Note: those wearing shirts with corporate logos are to be beaten severely. It's for their own good.) 215) Do you wear a calculator? 216) Have you ever worn any of the items in 211-215 in order to seduce someone? 217) Have you ever tried to pick someone up by reciting Pi? 218) Euler's Number? 219) Have you ever compared GPA's with someone? 220) SAT scores? 221) Have you ever placed a singles ad in the computer networks? 222) Have you ever met someone over the computer networks? 223) Have you ever dated someone you met over the computer networks? 224) Have you ever had sex with someone you met over the computer networks? 225) Have you ever had sex with someone via the computer? 226) Have you ever lied about your gender over the computer? 227) Have you ever had sex with someone over the computer while they thought you were a different gender? 228) Have you ever read erotic material on a computer bulletin board or newsgroup? 229) Have you ever posted erotic material on a computer bulletin board or newsgroup? 230) Have you ever masturbated to erotic material you read on a computer bulletin board or newsgroup? 231) Have you ever seen a pornographic GIF? 232) Do you collect pornographic GIFs? 233) Have you ever masturbated to pornographic GIFs? 234) Have you ever gotten turned on by a biology textbook? 235) Have you ever turned someone else on by reading them sections from a biology textbook? 236) Have you ever tried to pick someone up by asking them 'wanna fuck?' 237) Have you ever tried to pick someone up using a prop (i.e.- holding up a screw and asking 'wanna screw?') 238) Have you ever read a book about how to interact with people in order to get friends? (come on, now, confess!) 239) Have you ever read a book or computer BBS/newsgroup article to find out about sexual techniques? 240) Have you ever made love in a chemistry lab? 241) a physics lab? 242) a biology lab? 243) a computer lab? 244) Have you ever picked someone up in one of the labs mentioned in 240-3 while class was in session? 245) Have you ever petted or made out with someone in one of the labs mentioned in 240-3 while class was in session? 246) Have you ever made love with somebody in one of the labs mentioned in 240-3 while class was in session? 247) Did you do any of 240-6 and still get your work done in time? 248) Have you ever had an orgasm while performing an experiment or programming a computer? (NB- this counts if you are waiting for something to happen; making love while a program is compiling or while a channel selector is counting photons counts.) 249) Did you do #248 UNAIDED (the sheer excitement caused you to orgasm)? 250) Have you ever offered to help someone out in math, science or computer science in order to pick them up?